Independence means more if you need to fight for it. I always want to prove that I can do anything a ‘normal’ person can do (sometimes to my own detriment!). Independence, to me, means freedom. The ability to do anything despite my disability. This can conflict with the notion that (note the sarcastic tone) disabled people need their hand holding and wrapping up in cotton wool.
Rewind back to being about 17, I was making scary decisions about the future. I wanted to study Economics at university . My parents wanted me to go to a local(ish) uni, they knew the journey wasn’t difficult and they had heard of the uni before… it was a safe choice. I wanted to go to another uni, the courses focussed on Africa and Asia, but it was further away and my parents (or, as it turned out, nearly all of my family!) had not heard of it. I did think maybe it would be better for me just to be happy with the safe choice, but I wanted more and decided to fight for it (cue song: something inside so strong!). I printed off all the information about the uni I liked. I found its disability policy (which was a few years out of date, but I didn’t tell my parents that!), I organised a meeting with the disability advisor and made my parents come to an open day. I showed them how much I wanted it and in the end (of course) they were convinced. I went to SOAS. This may not sound like a major battle, but to me it meant that I could be normal. I choose a uni because I liked it, not because it was safe. I found myself and did things I could only imagine doing. I attended the odd protest (which is important if you go to SOAS!), was on the elected union, sang at an open mic night in Camden, dyed my hair purple, wrote an article for the uni newspaper and did rather well in my degree! Part of me always felt like I wasn’t just fighting for myself, I knew my sister would be going to uni in a few years, and I didn’t want her to feel constrained by her disability. In hindsight, I had no reason to worry!
I often think back and feel extremely lucky. Lucky to have parents that support me no matter what, lucky to live where unis support disabled students and even lucky to have attended a mainstream school. There are so many disabled people in the world who do not get these opportunities. There are disabled children who cannot go to school and are marginalised in society. Who will support them to lead independent lives? Who will enable them to have a voice?
disabilityandme.net 