Change, for some people is a word that can fill one with excitement, hope and animation, but for others it can bring feelings of anxiety or maybe even dread. For me, although I want to be the kind of person to be excited about change (and I do try to convince myself I am excited!), I mostly feel sheer dread.
It’s why I can often be shy about making big changes to my life, like starting a new job for example. Some of you may know that I started a new job nearly a month ago. It has been a draining experience, getting to know my way around the labyrinth of my new building; using the canteen, printing, familiarising myself with new faces, all whilst trying to give the persona of someone being in control and deserving of this new job. It’s tiring! I have avoided the canteen, partly because it took me time to top up my catering card, but also because the building is a maze! On my first trip to the canteen, I was completely flustered, the menus were small, the place was crowded and I didn’t know where anything was, I felt increasing levels of panic and stress. If I was by myself, I would have probably just given up and gone outside to the safe shops I know. But I didn’t, I worked it out and had an enjoyable lunch.
Another scary thing for me over the past month was, deciding how to speak about my disability to people I will be working with. I got some great advice from my old colleague. She suggested a small session with my new team to talk about my eyesight and how to best work with me. I was really scared about doing it, but it ended up being the best thing ever. I felt instantly comfortable after this and people really appreciated me being open.
So this change has really taught me a lot. Firstly, have a good support network if you are making a change. They will help you to keep perspective if you are panicking and give you great advice. Secondly, if you can push through the hard bits (I have now visited the canteen quite a few times and not had a minor panic attack!), then change can be quite fun. I must admit, it’s quite nice having a canteen and nice meeting new people and work on new things. Thirdly, just because something is tough, doesn’t mean you should shy away from it, your experiences play a big part in shaping who you are.
So, all I can say today is, try to embrace change and be brave. Enjoy the ride!
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