Month: March 2016

I love children and at some point I would like to have kids (I am sure my husband knows this and won’t run away/scream). I think I get on more with children than I do adults! Children bring a smile to my face. As I get older, a lot of friends and family are now having kids. This is awesome as I have more kids to play with (and hand back to their parents when things get tough). But, as much I love kids, I am (slightly) petrified of having kids in the future (if that is God’s plan for me). Why?! I hear you cry… well here’s my list:

1. Not being able to keep them safe. I am so scared of leading a child accidently into danger in situations where my sight isn’t 100% (unfamiliar surroundings, bright light etc.).
2. Not being able to see if they are sick. I am scared that I won’t be able to spot when a baby has a rash or scratch or anything like that.
3. Hurting them. I don’t want to accidently bang their head when I miss a step or bang into a table or a chair.

As I think about having children, these worries seem very real to me. I never even thought I would be worried about these things before, because I was just excited about having children and now the responsibilities do scare me, even more so when people have started asking when I am going to have kids!

I have talked to my friends about this as I have been quite anxious about it. They all tell me not to worry. I think I can apply a lot of my common sense to looking after a child. So for my three worries above, I have answers:

1. I may not be able to see, but I am able to know when I need help or when I don’t need help. I will obviously be even more risk averse with children – so I need to consciously be aware of that.
2. If a baby gets sick. The signs aren’t only visible. A baby can show other signs that they are ill, for example, crying their frigging heart out or have a temperature.
3. Again, I think I will be more risk averse and ensure that people don’t go moving things in my familiar surroundings so I know where, for example, the cat food bowls are!

In conclusion, like with anything else, sometimes my anxieties make the problem a lot bigger than the reality. Luckily, I have rational, helpful friends to reassure and support me. I also know that there are plenty of visually impaired parents who can give me tips for taking care of kids. I just need to remember that being visually impaired does not mean I can’t be capable of being the most awesome parent. Another question I need to ask myself is if I love kids so much, why am I not working in a Nursery?!

So people, what are your experiences? Thoughts? Do you want children? Are you scared of similar things? Are you a visually impaired parent? Your stories are wanted and welcome 🙂 

By profession, I am an analyst. We are typically known for being clever (well, most of us), but not so much for our communication skills! I don’t think my job really allows me to express myself very well. People, who know me, know that I have a lot of energy. I constantly want to put this energy into good use, which is one of the main reasons I started this blog.

Expressing myself is very important and it is something I have been typically scared of doing. I am scared to let myself stand out in the crowd, even though I am a loud character. I hold myself back from being… well ME quite often, because I get anxious. When I am meeting new people, I am already using so much energy trying not to draw attention to my disability (i.e. when trying to make a coffee, I hate fancy machines), so I haven’t got the energy for conversation or it is just not a priority.

Writing this blog has definitely helped me to be true to myself, it gives me an outlet to consider my life and reflect on my feelings. Through promoting this blog on twitter, I found acting workshops for visually impaired people which finish with a performance. I don’t have many friends that are visually impaired, and have never felt like I have fit in with a big group of normal or disabled people, but the people I have met during these workshops have helped me to see how easily I can fit into a group. I feel so comfortable with the people there and have been able to share some really personal experiences. The way I have felt performing and acting with them has been unbelievable. It has helped me to develop my sense of self and it is such a buzz.  The people at the workshops have all inspired me; the challenges they have overcome and they are all still smiling.

Expressing myself has been so important. I can’t have a week where all I do is work and sleep, it’s boring! These workshops have given me something to be excited about, and a few hours in the week where I can feel happy and comfortable in a group. This has been awesome, and I wouldn’t have been able to do anything quite like this without my disability. Disability did good.